to be honset im still not quite sure which was harder! hearing you had defo gone or telling our 3yr old daughter that her daddy bestfriend her hero was gone and dat she wud never see him again i kept it quite untill she kept asking why the policeman had made me cry and why i crying where was daddy? anyway's i told shania she had to draw a spiecal picture to tell daddy she loved him! she asked why? i told her we had to goe and ave a spiecal day for daddy! asked her what she wanted? she wanted a cake, a candles some balloon's my heart was breaking walking dwn because i knew what i had to doe felt like the hardest thing i wud ever had to tell her! we got there she asked y we were at the river? i sed shania listen to mummy very carefully! i sed im sorry baby but daddy had to goe to heaven and hes never coming back again! she sed can i goe to heaven? i sed no baby only poorly people goe to heaven she pretended to be sick and sed im poorly! i broke dwn she sed wheres heaven? i sed in the sky! she sed my daddy cant fly! so i sed daddy was drunk and fell in the river! so did my daddy swim to heaven? i sed shania do u understand the angel's took daddy because ur daddy was spiecal! she just wanted ur cake i sed u have to say bye to daddy now! why she sed? she cried i sed ur never going to see him again! she sung u happy birthday into the sky and sed she loved u and missed u and goodbye i hope u heard it all babe as i still cudnt bring myself to say goodbye xxxx